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The trap of external validation

The trap of external validation

I’m in a Fitbit group. There are 10 of us, and each week we have a competition to see who can do the most steps. We congratulate each other for our wins, encourage each other when it’s hard, and are seen in our glory when we take the trophy. The external validation I...

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The 5:1 rule for human flourishing

The 5:1 rule for human flourishing

The research tells us that to improve children’s behaviour and educational outcomes, we should apply the 5:1 ratio of praise. This means that for every criticism or reprimand, we need to praise them or offer positive feedback five times. In the classroom, this...

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Feeling flat? How to rediscover your inspiration

Feeling flat? How to rediscover your inspiration

‘Join a hiking club!’ My friend enthused. ‘You’re a singer! You could join a choir, or an art group! Volunteer work! Or take a holiday, you might find you want to travel again. Change careers! You could be a teacher. Why not go back to study? Why don’t you go to...

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Healing our triggers

Healing our triggers

The word ‘triggered’ is used in many ways, to describe anything from discomfort to extreme PTSD flashbacks. For this article, I’m adopting this definition from Healthline: ‘something that affects your emotional state, often significantly, by causing overwhelm or...

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Dealing with workplace bullying

Dealing with workplace bullying

While we primarily think of bullying as something that happens to children in the schoolyard, it is, unfortunately, something that many people continue to experience as adults. Being bullied at work can leave us feeling helpless, disempowered, and fearful, and may...

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Harnessing the power of self-talk

Harnessing the power of self-talk

First, let me assure you that I’m not here to suggest that in the face of trauma, you force a smile in the mirror, grit your teeth and mutter “I am happy and fulfilled! I am calm and relaxed!” I don’t advocate for denial of reality or invalidating your own pain. Far...

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Deep dive into jealousy

Deep dive into jealousy

Feelings are messengers, right? They bring information, you act rationally on it, they leave. Ideally. At our best, we can imagine those feelings gently knocking on the door. Hello? Yes, I’m Sadness. It’s okay to let me in, I brought tissues and chocolate. A bad thing...

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Healing your wounded inner child

Healing your wounded inner child

Carl Jung is most commonly accredited with first identifying the child archetype, which he linked to what we learned and experienced in our earliest years. Our inner child, on a good day, is associated with our joy, playfulness, and creativity. Our inner child’s...

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Burnout: Recognising it and healing it

Burnout: Recognising it and healing it

It had been several months since I’d taken a day off, but my productivity was lower than ever. Every day I got up before sunrise and sat down at my computer with stubborn determination, knowing that I hadn’t done enough that week (or that month) to earn a day off....

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